Other Half

I know I don’t say these words enough, but know that they are so;

I love you and will love you until my heart beats no more.

How can I know that I love you so when I’m barely 25 and you’re two years my junior?

Well, beautiful soul, this is how I know:

I carried half of you inside my belly, and although the timing wasn’t right, the feeling was.

You’re the man of my dreams and my partner in crime. You stood by my side as my only support system when I felt as though I lost half of myself. I will forever love you for how you care for me even in my darkest times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spread The Love

I have been staring at a blank New Post screen every day for over a week now. Forgive me, fellow bloggers, for my absence. I know I’ve said this before, but this time, it’s different. It’s not solely because life has been crazy busy, which it has, but I’ve always been able to schedule in some well needed blogging time. This time, I’ve just been at a loss for words. The shootings of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile and the five Dallas officers reduced me to silence. I haven’t even attempted to watch the supporting videos, I know it’s cowardly, especially given the fact that the loved ones of those who were murdered are the ones who must bear the burden at the end of the day.

To be honest, I so badly wanted to respond to these incidents as soon as they occurred, but I didn’t know where to begin. I didn’t know what I could possibly add to the discussion that would do any good. I would offer my condolences, a word on gun laws and the stupidity of racism, but it all felt so empty to me. I turned away from social media altogether, including Word Press, which usually provides me a happy escape. Seeing our neighbours to the south in such a state of civil unrest pains me. When people lose trust in those who are supposed to protect and serve their nation, things turn really nasty, really fast. It’s no secret that cops fatally killing innocent black Americans has become an epidemic. And the retaliation on innocent cops as a reaction to these murders is equally troubling. I use the word epidemic because it truly is. People are angry, scared, helpless and fighting for their lives. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like to be a black American right now. A broken taillight or playing with a toy gun can turn into a fatal life sentence. The problem is racism. The problem is the lack of gun control. The problem is hate. The problem is ignorance.

I’ve been thinking of the problems hate breeds. It divides us all. We will live in fear of one another. These problems need to be addressed with solutions, with action. Love speaks louder than hate, so I’ve thought of an achievable plan for all of us:

Spread the love once a day, in some way.

I am challenging myself, and YOU, to begin actively spreading positivity and love to those who need it or deserve it.

Say hello or smile at passersby on the street to brighten someones day.

Pack an extra lunch and give it to someone who would go hungry otherwise.

Donate clothes and useful items to a local shelter rather than just tossing them.

Hold the door open for someone, or offer a helping hand to someone in need.

Whatever it is you do to make this world a better place, no matter how small it seems, it does matter. Positive action should cause a positive reaction. And while I’m afraid I can’t provide a solution to the bigger issues at hand here, what I can do is love louder, be more positive, and share that energy with those around me. Here is what I hope to do:

  1. Do a good deed once a day, big or small actions.
  2. Focus on the positives rather than the negatives in ALL aspects of my life.
  3. Spread the love and positive energy to others.
  4. Share the little things I did to spread the love in a weekly blog post.
  5. Hopefully get other wonderful bloggers involved in the spread the love movement.

I’d love to hear what you do, want to do, or have done in the past to spread the love to those who need it. What are your hopes and goals for a brighter future? Either share in the comments or as a pingback to this post, add “SpreadTheLove” to your tags, and as a thank you I will share your blog and your goals to spread the love in my weekly posts!

 

Let us band together and silence hate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kilig

I remember it like it was yesterday, the day you came back.

It was a typical December night for Ottawa. The cold air prickled against my cheeks and nose, the only part of my body left unbundled. The sky had fallen to complete darkness by dinner time, but I remember the way the snowflakes sparkled as they fluttered past the street lamps ever so softly. I recall leaving my apartment on Riverside that evening with butterflies in my stomach. I walked in silence down the road to the bus station that would bring me to you, my heart hammering in my chest and the butterflies not letting up for even a moment. 3 months time and 3,000 miles had kept us apart, but finally I could have you once more. Our future wasn’t clear but I didn’t care, it was our night.

The 25 minute ride on the 97-Airport bus felt like a lifetime, but every stop lessened the distance between us a little more. I had never been to the Ottawa Airport before, and I was so nervous about missing my stop that I got off a stop too soon and had a 10 minute walk to Arrivals. Sometimes love is so inexplicably powerful that it takes over your entire being. Darkness surrounded me but the glow of the airport in the distance pulled me forward. I didn’t feel frightened by my new surroundings, nor cold from the relentless winter. People always talk about that moment when you realize someone is the one. This evening was the moment I knew. Love doesn’t need explanation, it cannot always be rationalized. Love was my driving force that evening, and it pulsed through my being with unquestionable vehement.

 

I remember scoring a leather massage chair next to baggage claim but I couldn’t sit still. The butterflies had expanded their real estate and taken over my entire body. I paced anxiously, questioning the route of my nerves. I checked the time on my phone as I counted down the minutes to your scheduled arrival. 3 months isn’t a long time but it equates to a lifetime when you’re without the one you love. What if’s started plaguing my mind. What if I’m not who he remembers me to be? What if it doesn’t work out? What if he leaves again? What if…What if…

 

But then, when I noticed you in the distance, my doubts were silenced. I could feel your signature ear-to-ear smile even though you were still 100 yards away. Everything around us seemed to blur as I started walking, and then running towards you. Nothing mattered anymore. I didn’t care who was looking as I jumped into your arms and wrapped my legs around your waist. Tears were falling from our eyes as we laughed and kissed and touched and reunited. I could have held on to you for forever in that very moment.


Inspired by the Filipino word Kilig –Written in response to the daily Filipino word prompt for Word High July

 

 

 

Sounds of Home

The sound of coffee brewing and bacon sizzling was my weekend alarm clock.

The gravel of our driveway crackling under the wheels of my Dad’s truck as he pulls in.

The distinct, bird-like whistle my parents would use to communicate across the house to see if the other was home.

Jack meowing ever so loudly when he was ready to venture outdoors.

Young and the Restless on the TV every afternoon from 4:30-5:30.

Don Cherry’s commentary every Saturday evening as we gathered around to watch the Leafs play,

Cheering, goal horns and hockey sticks against the ice filling the living room with anticipation and excitement.

Dad hurling insults at the TV when they weren’t playing well enough.

Christmas carols playing from the yule log Christmas channel every season.


These are just a few of the sounds of my home that make my heart feel warm when I remember them.

We all have our own, personal sounds of home, what are yours?

 

 

 

 

 

 

National Poetry Month: The Worrier

I just found this poem I wrote at a really difficult time in my life. My mental state was dark, I was constantly worrying and living with deep rooted anxiety. Enjoy 🙂

The Worrier

(July 28th, 2013) Live for yourself, not for fear,

because fear is the pain that keeps you here;

In a life of worry, sadness and pain,

but at the end you lose, and push away what you’ve gained.

Scared of life, love and everything in between,

This is desperately who you don’t want to be.

But running and pretending won’t help you escape,

When what you’re hiding from is in your own head.

Your thoughts have become the root of all your problems,

but luckily you have the power to be your solution.

Stay positive, stay happy and live for today,

ending your worrying is the only way.