Excerpt from: “Stuck in Her Mind”

The following is a brief excerpt from the story I’ve been working on for well over a year, mainly in my head. I realize it switches tenses, this was somewhat a flow of consciousness.

My main character Dan is mentally trapped in a horribly one sided relationship with Penelope. Set about 40 years in the future, technology has reached new levels of control. The new generation live their lives simply to share it on social media. Everything in life becomes about an online presence, and creating a sense of envy in your followers. Dan watches this mentality destroy the world around him, yet everyone surrounding him seems completely oblivious and sold on this void and meaningless lifestyle. Any feedback or tips would be greatly appreciated, I am having a hard time getting started on this story but I have many ideas and tons of vision.

He felt sick and used. Trapped. The hole he dug had become his grave. It’s swallowing his every ambition, leaving him on the edge. It’s sickening, what love can do to you. You give yourself to someone for so long, you forget what it was you wanted in the first place. You’re terrified and sick. Your skin feels warm but your insides are frozen. You can feel your inner voice screaming STOP!! And it’s not stop with any question. It’s blood curdling shrieks. Every minute away is a breath of fresh air. But she drags you back in somehow. Everyone has that great, unattainable love, right? Someone who is so everything other than what you need, but at the same time, you can feel them flowing through your veins. They are the blood pumping to your heart and the knife that punctures it. What do you want? Do you even know! She makes me feel small and ill. I walk on egg shells when I’m in her presence. I’m not myself. I feel like vomiting. I miss euphoria. 

There are escape methods. Shut it all off, pop a couple pills and watch this world melt away. Or what’s become of it. Hide your phone, it burns the skin. It is the epitome of my anxiety. Smash the computer, drape the TV. Can they see me still? Are they watching? Everyone is judging. The deepest trap is the mind. My only resolution is to turn off my brain. Stop it from thinking, over-thinking. Life is about choices and I chose this. I locked the cell door and threw away the key.