Red-Eye

There is no greater sorrow than to recall our times of joy in wretchedness. – Dante Alighieri, Inferno

Have you ever been on a red-eye flight,

With your mind racing faster than the speed of light?

Thoughts pinging against the windshield of your head,

Corruption, lies, deceit- it all seems so clear.

Yet we remain complaisant,

It isn’t alright.

I am splitting at the seams-

When innocent men are shot dead in the streets you used to walk,

And the real criminals are the ones on the ballot.

As we watch it unfold, the horror is muffled by the screen it’s received on,

It’s like a really bad reality TV show-

Wake up America,

This is your reality now.

When it’s your turn to speak to the camera- what will you say?

Will you share yet another photo of clothes or shoes,

Get lost in the mindless celebrity feuds,

Or will you stand up and fucking say something?

But it’s easy to be a social justice warrior at 5 am and with 37,000 ft beneath me,

With a birds-eye view of what the earth once was, not what its become.

Let us revert to what matters most-

Not the things, but the people and places.

Because a life void of materialism is a life of fulfillment-

And a life void of experiences and people to share them with,

Isn’t a life worth living.

 

 

 

 

The Reality of Dreaming

I was sitting on the couch by your side when the ground began shaking. A surge of panic rushed through me as I jumped to my feet, and when I turned to look your way, you were gone. The ground began rumbling again, only this time louder and more intense.

As I studied my surroundings I realized they were foreign to me. This isn’t my home, where am I?! The details of the apartment were minimal, defined only by its stark white walls and concrete floors. It was cold and unwelcoming and we needed to get out of here. Suddenly a loud CCCRAACK ripped through the walls of our faux-home, and I began screaming your name.

Except whenever I tried screaming your name, nothing came out.

I ran through the hole-in-the-wall to find myself in the middle of downtown Vancouver. I knew it to be Vancouver but I was lost amidst the chaos of people. I didn’t understand what was going on but one thing was evident: they were all running in the same direction. When I turned to look behind me, large groups of tornadoes were obliterating everything in their paths. The city around me is being ripped apart and I just need to find you.

I see you in the distance but you’re walking away from me. I began shoving everyone to the side as I ran towards you, and that’s when I noticed Marley’s tail wagging next to you. I need to just reach you both, I need to feel safe again. Our world is crumbling around us and I’m not even with you. Please just turn around and hold me until it’s over. I collapse to the ground and squeeze my eyes shut until it all ends. I can’t bear the weight of this alone.

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When I opened my eyes I found myself in my bed in a cold sweat. The tornadoes were gone but the loneliness lingered. My head ached from clenching my jaw and my heart hurt as though I had just lost everything.

Whether or not you believe in analyzing dreams, I believe dreams of this magnitude don’t simply occur without cause.

It’s not the tornadoes themselves that I fear, it’s what they materialized out of.

Inner anguish, stress, confusion?

Why was it tearing apart my life so rapidly and leaving me alone to endure its wrath?

I take it as a subconscious cry for help.

The next day, I faced my inner demons. No longer will I endure pain of that magnitude, both in my dreams and reality.

 

Inspired by The Daily Post’s daily word prompt, Dream. 

Feature image of Vancouver at night by my talented partner, TrHippie. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Raison D’être

Inspired by The Daily Post’s Discover Challenge Prompt: Raison D’être

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When the other kids teased me for my puffy hair, acne-riddled face and boyish physique, You were there.

When he left us for his “old high school girlfriend,” You were there.

When he came back pleading for forgiveness, You were there.

When my teachers told me to pursue something more profitable than writing, You were there.

When we first moved to that small town far away from home and I had no new friends and felt as though I had lost all my old ones too, You were there.

When I spent my first night of university too crippled by social anxiety to leave the comfort of my dorm room, You were there.

When my heart smashed into so many pieces that I didn’t know if it would piece back together again, You were there.

When I finally found myself, and for the first time, loved myself, You were there.

When I had to suffer the greatest loss I’ve ever experienced, You were there.

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I’ve given up on You from time to time and I’m sorry for ever doubting you. You’ve been there for me when I had no one and nothing. When my heart was bleeding You allowed me to spill onto your pages. When no one could hold my hand, I held a pen. I’ve taken out my anger on You, jamming the pen into the notepad as hard as I can when I’ve felt I’m at my wits end. I’ve shared more emotions with You than anyone else on this planet.

Writing, You are my raison d’être. 

National Poetry Month: Howls of Pain

Marley, captured by Jon (Trhippie on WordPress)

 

The following is a short poem-type-thing I wrote in the middle of the night as we waited in an emergency pet hospital. Marley had been neutered a few days earlier, and something was terribly wrong. His sutures were incredibly red and swollen, he was feverish and in a terrible amount of pain. There was only one Veterinarian on site. We were made to wait for hours while our poor baby suffered. Marley and another dog howled back and forth, clearly both in tremendous pain. It was an awful, gut-wrenching time. The only thing I could do to calm my nerves was write, and this is what I scribbled down. I’m happy to say that Marley is a happy and healthy dog now!

Howls of Pain

Their painful cries fill the waiting room with sorrow,

Listening intently to each other’s whines, howling in sync like a melancholic song.

Their eyes jolting around the room but meeting so often in pain.

It’s as though they were empathetic of each other’s suffering,

consoling and understanding.

There was beauty in this pain, one that made us all hurt,

but also connected us with the dogs more than ever.

Their unified pain was an understanding of one another.

If that isn’t true emotion I don’t know what is.

Let me know if there is any interest, maybe I will share the entire story behind this.

Happy reading everyone 🙂

National Poetry Month: The Worrier

I just found this poem I wrote at a really difficult time in my life. My mental state was dark, I was constantly worrying and living with deep rooted anxiety. Enjoy 🙂

The Worrier

(July 28th, 2013) Live for yourself, not for fear,

because fear is the pain that keeps you here;

In a life of worry, sadness and pain,

but at the end you lose, and push away what you’ve gained.

Scared of life, love and everything in between,

This is desperately who you don’t want to be.

But running and pretending won’t help you escape,

When what you’re hiding from is in your own head.

Your thoughts have become the root of all your problems,

but luckily you have the power to be your solution.

Stay positive, stay happy and live for today,

ending your worrying is the only way.

National Poetry Month: Spring in Ottawa

The following is a poem I wrote candidly whilst living in Ottawa. It was a beautiful spring day, much like today, and I was feeling inspired. Poetry isn’t my strong suit, but in honour of National Poetry Month, I thought I would share. Enjoy 🙂

(Ottawa, ON- Spring, 2015) Brownish puddles glisten in the warming sun,

Softly wrinkling as the wind glazes over them.

Patches of blackened snow growing sparse as the days grow warm.

A renewal of hope returns to the faces of the veterans of hellish winters,

discovering once more that these harsh seasons do come to an end.

As all things do.

Life is the stuff of repetition and renewal.

When one thing dies something new is born.

The sky a little bluer, the grass yellowed from over-saturation.

Spring is reborn once more.